Man, today has been one of those days. You would think that it would have been great since it did start out fairly well. We were able to get up nice and early for church. Adam and I were almost completely ready before getting the girls out of bed. I made sourdough pancake batter last night so it was ready for us to finish off and have delicious pancakes this morning. Well, I liked them. I think the sourdough is going to have to grow on the rest of them. :)
We had a good ride into church and a decent time at church. It would have been perfect if Eden hadn't decided this was going to be the day to be grouchy ALL through every meeting of church. Nursery can not come soon enough. A little over a month and she'll be in there with her sister. :)
Besides the crying, I mean screaming, coming from the backseat of the car we had a great ride home from church. Montanna told us how she had a wonderful time in nursery and they let her sing "If Your Happy and you Know it". She loves that song. They even got to do "Ring around the Rosie". We all made it home, even Eden, who didn't think she was going to, and ate a snack. Montanna had a banana and Eden had a piece of cheese and the girls took pretty good naps.
Then.... Montanna and Eden must have both woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Montanna has decided that not only does she not want to listen, but she wants to do the EXACT opposite of everything I ask her to do. She is having a hard time being nice to her sister and even resorts to hitting her at times, which is NOT acceptable at all. She also always wants whatever Eden is playing with. This type of behavior made me turn into a "Mean Mommy". I need to get the Love and Logic book from the library because everyone keeps telling me about it and I really think I would benefit from some of the things in there. Montanna had several time outs where she was screaming in her room. I don't like it at all when our afternoons or days are like this. I need to figure something out so I can be a "Nice Mommy" all the time.
We are trying to teach Eden how to share, but this is a difficult task for any young kid to understand especially one that is almost 17 months old. I try to remember what Montanna was doing at this age, but we didn't have to try to teah her sharing becuase she was the only one. Montanna struggles with this as well and thinks that Eden sharing means Eden should just give her whatever she wants when she wants it.
Phone time has turned into kids getting into whatever they know they should not get into. There is a room in our house that the girls know they are not supposed to play in. this is Adam's office. There are times when he is out on the ranch and not in his office. As soon as I get a phone call, Montanna dashes for the door and calls for Eden to come after her. They know this is not the place they should be, but it never fails...... This is not the only thing that happens when I am on the phone, there are others. It just seems like whatever I have been telling them not to do all day, they decide to do when I get on the phone.
My goal for this week is to try to take a deep breath and really spend some time figuring out a better way to discipline my kids without getting mad. I really think everything would be more effective if I was able to keep my cool. If I make it to the library I will put Love and Logic on my book list, and if I don't, I know I will eventually read it.
If you have any advice on how to have a happy, yelling free, "Nice Mommy" day, please let me know. Any advice is appreciated.
7 comments:
Sorry it was a rough day. Don't get too down on yourself. I am sure your girls were just having an off day. Makes me nervous for two kids! Guess there is no turning back now.
I'm so glad to hear this e-mail, not for your struggles but because I too am going through the same things with my 3-year old and little one. Exact same thing with phone time (also with computer time). Exact same thing with sharing. Older one hits, squishes, pushes little one out of his way. It's been going on for several months now. Reading your blog post, however, reminds me that this is just a phase. It has tested me as a parent and changed me too. I've found that I can be quite a yeller by nature. My mom has even come to the rescue once and taken my oldest for a few days so I can relax a bit. I think it's healthy for children to see that their actions, when not appropriate can frustrate, disappoint, and even anger others. The key is to just try not to discipline in anger. Love and logic helps with that but I recommend checking out the book specific for the toddler years as it really focuses in on just that age group. I'm also making very concerted efforts to maintain a busy schedule and have a lot of variety in their days/weeks. When Par gets rough or bored or violent we move to chore time. The more "new" things he experiences each day, the more happy he is. Anywho... good luck. Just a few things that I find helpful. And NO - you're not ruining your kids. Despite whatever popular magazine, talk show, or friend suggests, children with "angry" parents survive and may even thrive in life. If you love them and provide for their needs (and I know you do) you're being a great parent. There are thousands of good things you do for them daily. Don't get too caught up on the occasional "bad moment."
I have ZERO advice, but post another blog once you get all the advice from others :) I sure need it with Brody!!!
Lindsey, "nice mommy" is a fallacy---we all yell and want to pull our hair out. sometimes, i actually imagine that i am screaming, just to vent a little. you are a great mom and i think you do really well with keeping your cool. for what it's worth. one time, Darby was out of control and being crazy and i couldn't redirect her, so i poured a cup of water on her head/face. i know it sounds horrible, absolutely detestable, but it made us both feel better. worth a shot, right?!!
I KNOW you are an amazing Mom...I think you are just feeling what every mom will eventually feel. Don't get discouraged...you have too amazing girls and an amazing husband. We alllove you! My school did free Love and Logic classes too that were good. Maybe the schools by you do too? It's great and I really should get the full book too
I feel like a mean mommy sometimes too. I think all mommy's do. I feel bad losing my cool, but when I do I always sit down with Carson afterwards and calmly talk to him so he knows I am not angry with him, just whatever action he did. I ask him "do we do that?" and then make him answer me so the point can hopefully be absorbed. The toddler/preschool years are just HARD! :P It is a bit of a relief to know I am not alone in my struggles though!
Let me know how reading that book goes! My friends brother teaches the lectures and is willing to do one for her and her friends. I too have MANY days like this. It must be the age. Good luck sweet lady!
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