Journaling

I'm not very good at journaling and writing down my thoughts and feelings very well. But sometimes I feel like there are things I just want to remember and I think I may forget. Tonight is one of those nights. Montanna started crying in her bed three times while I was writing the last post. First she told me that she didn't want to sleep in the dark and we turned on her music mobile with the lights and she was fine when I left the room. The next time she was crying I went in her room and she said she needed to tell me something. She whispered in my ear, "I love you". I told her that I loved her so much I could hardly stand it. The next time she started crying she had to go potty. She really did, so I was glad for that wake up now instead of in a couple hours when I was sleeping too. 

Sometimes these frequent wake up calls in the middle of the night are frustrating and I find myself short on patience, especially if I am tired or in the middle of a deep sleep myself, but other times, I wish I could cuddle right in bed with them and snuggle up under the covers. I am already feeling sad for the time when they won't need me as much as they do now. I gave Montanna a kiss and a hug and put her in bed for the last time and I heard a groggy little voice from down below say, "Mommy, I want a kiss too", and I was able to give kisses to cute little cheeks down on the bottom bunk. Part of me wishes that these two adorable little girls that drive me crazy sometimes, would just stay the way they are for a little while longer. Time seems to go by way too quickly and I feel like I need to hold on to them for as long as I can because pretty soon they won't want me to get them in the middle of the night, and they won't want those big hugs and kisses, and they will be too big and tall for me to pick up and snuggle up close so easily. I love these girls more than anything.

On the other hand, I love that Montanna and Eden have started to play so well together. They do fight a lot and I hear screaming from one or the other because they always seem to want what the other one has, but then there are times when they are laughing so hard they can't stop and they are playing hide and seek and making up stories that make them giggle. They are finding new ways to be creative and play in their new surroundings and it is so fun to watch. Eden is starting to get quite the vocabulary. You can tell her little mind is working so fast and she know exactly what she wants to say and she stutters, and stutters until she gets it out little by little in her excited breathless way. She is super observant and both girls have an incredible memory. They bring up things we did months ago and I am amazed that they remember and associate some of the things they do. I love having smart, stubborn, opinionated little girls. I just need to learn how to reign in the stubbornness and help them learn how to use it effectively. 

These girls teach me new things each day about how to be more patient, kind, and a better mother. There are things I have on my list of things to work on, and patience number one on the list. I am so glad that each day is a new day and we have the chance to start over and make each day better than the last. I am so blessed.